Month: November 2015

Our Processing Lens

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful.
And then it’s amazing again.
And in between the amazing and awful,
it’s ordinary and routine.
Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful,
and relax and exhale during the ordinary.
That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing,
amazing, awful, ordinary life.
And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”  ~L. R. Knost

The truth is that this shift between amazing and awful and ordinary can all occur within the span of a day. Some days, we are amazed at how much good there is. Some days the awful outweighs the amazing. And some days the mundane seems endless and there is nothing to suggest it will ever change.

The biggest challenge is knowing how to process all the shifts that can come into a day. Celebrating, standing, and breathing are the three responses I have recently come to find most helpful.

1. I am learning to celebrate the good that comes in life. Often, it is a very small event that I just celebrate quietly in my heart. Other times they are events worth sharing with others.  And other times, well, let’s just have something sparkling with dinner. Because it was that good. When we look for things to celebrate, we just might have to look past things that want us to do otherwise.

2.  In the midst of a shift, standing still is gradually becoming my go-to. I used to be a mover and a doer, and my life was crowded with busy. If I had any down time, I filled it. And in between it all, fear and worry vied for my attention. Now, I try to determine if there is anything I need to do. If I have no part in the solution, I practice being still. Fear doesn’t have to overtake me. Worry and anxiety are not friends. And running faster only makes me tired. Being still may feel counterintuitive at times, but my body is beginning to heal and I am finding much peace there.

3.  Whenever something wants to bring a stress response, I am intentionally focusing on breathing. I catch myself revving up and can feel my heart begin to race. I can not handle that these days. So I stop, even if it’s just for a minute, and breathe deeply. I am signaling to my body that it is not in flight or fight mode, and it is ok to settle down. I am taking more time to breathe and meditate because a body in stress is a body in trouble. I need my body to heal from years of living that way. It is not a luxury; it is an essential.

Lens 2
Our perspective determines our attitude. How we see is more important than what we see. Our minds can trick us into thinking that things are not good, that we are not good, that our lives are not good. I am learning to fix my mind on the “breathtakingly beautiful” in this awfully ordinary world. It is the most helpful lens I own.

Thanksgiving or Thanksgetting?

“Happy Thanksgetting.”

Those are the sentiments in the latest Verizon commercial. Initially, it made me mad. Until I realized that they were simply stating what all the other ads were implying. They are actually the sentiments in every single commercial aimed at the holiday consumer. Don’t focus on giving thanks people; focus on getting stuff.

During this season, I am continually challenging myself on my thoughts. Am I focused on giving, on gratitude? Or am I focused on getting, on lack? Oh to be grateful for the simple things we have. The sound of a loved one walking through the door, the sight of a pantry filled with food, the smell of a frosty fall morning. Gratitude sees our mundane and calls it beautiful. It covers our ordinary with wonder.
“When a person doesn’t have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity.” Elie Wiesel
Let our lives demonstrate gratitude this season. There is a big difference between Thanksgiving and Thanksgetting. Let’s be those who celebrate Thanksgiving with hearts that see the wonder in our beautifully ordinary lives. And cause others to celebrate theirs as well.
thanks

Thankfulness matters.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Radical Decision to Tidy Up

When I first read about the book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I knew it was ultimately about my life, and I wasn’t emotionally prepared to do that at the time. So when that book made its way into my cart at Costco, I knew I was as ready as I was going to be. This book is about letting go of things we own. That process can be challenging.

I had a hard time at first with the book. She advocates the practice of thanking the things we own. I easily give thanks FOR things that I have. But never TO them. And, quite frankly, I chuckled a bit as I read about thanking these things, out loud. But I kept reading. I was definitely ready for this letting go.

tidying up
She tells you to put every article of clothing you own in one place–forcing you to look at all that’s there. Then she states the only guideline for keeping anything: Does it bring you joy? Okay. So, what if it doesn’t bring you joy–but you spent a ton of money on it? Costly things are hard to let go. I justified those purchases by allowing them space in my closet. I pulled a couple of expensive items out of the pile, things that had hung for a long time. I thanked them—yes, out loud– for serving their purpose that season (even if it was just in the act of buying them).

It is hard to let go of things that cost us. So we will often just keep them to avoid thinking that we overspent or made a bad decision. But what if really did cost that much to satisfy a need we had at the time? Lying to myself about possibly wearing it one day isn’t justifying the cost. Coming to terms with why I bought it in the first place does. Once I had the perspective that it wasn’t about the number of times I wore the thing, but instead about the purpose it served at the time, I was able to release it.

So finally, I came face to face with the life application. I had invested many years in some things that had recently come crashing down. I held on to all the emotions attached because, after all, it had cost me plenty. I let so many emotions “hang in the back of the closet” for a while. Letting go of them seemed wasteful. Until I came to terms with the lack of joy those emotions brought. Sorry, it is time to thank you and let you go.

Letting go helps us in so many ways:

1.     It unclutters our lives.
Cluttered lives are stressful. We have a hard time focusing and a hard time resting because there is always something vying for attention. In a yelling at us kind of way.
2.     It makes our lives bigger.
I used to think the more I had going on, the bigger my life. Wrong. During that season, I couldn’t say yes to anything new. I was cramped and had little space to breathe. My space now seems expansive and I honestly feel like I can see so much farther. And feel so much more joy.
3.     It allows more room for other things.
There are things we can invest in now, maybe with more wisdom and gratitude for what that all means. We are more comfortable with who we are, with who we are becoming, in our own skin. It’s not about comparison and performance measurements. It’s about being brave and authentic and honest with ourselves.

It’s true. I am now thanking inanimate objects. But I have also been able to thank those life experiences that produced a sense of sadness, loss, and regret. “You served a purpose in my life, and I am grateful for the way you shaped me, the way you changed me. I am grateful TO and I am grateful FOR everything that has helped me grow.

After letting go, there is letting grow. That’s the point of going through all this. That’s the magic in tidying up. It’s time to move forward; there is so much room to grow.

“Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you become for it. Shake things up today! Be You…Be Free…”
Steve Maraboli, Life, Truth, and Being Free

Beauty in the Simple

Sometimes I can get discouraged by all the encouragement out there.

Every day, there is a pin or a post about never giving up, letting our dreams be bigger than our fears, never limiting our vision. And I picture all these people doing huge things and influencing thousands of people.

And I feel small. And sometimes question whether I have anything to offer that will matter. But then I remember her.
Beanie Lady

Every sunny day, this precious 90-something woman in a bright yellow coat and a beanie copter hat walked down a sidewalk by my house, plastic bag in hand. I would often see her standing, pointing to something not visible to my eye. Or picking up garbage. And I must admit, I thought she was a little, well, crazy. Until I met her.

One spring day I was out walking and saw her in the distance beckoning me to come. She was enthusiastically pointing at something, and I honestly didn’t see what she was pointing at. “It’s a leaf! It’s not just a bud, but it’s blossomed into a leaf. Isn’t that just beautiful!” This 90-year old woman who has seen the signs of spring for that many years was still struck by the beauty the season. And I would have missed it.

I stopped to chat with her the next time I passed her by on my walk. She was picking up garbage and putting it in that little plastic bag. “I love beauty so I go out and pick up the garbage I see on my walk. It helps this place look better.” I asked her if I could take her picture. She seemed shocked that I wanted her picture, but she smiled big and walked away happy. I walked away changed.

The next sunny day, I looked for her. And the time after that. Sadly, I never saw her again. She never knew the impact she had on my life. She appreciated beauty, noticed the little things, and did what she could with what she had. It’s really so simple. She taught me to look for the leaf amongst the buds, to have eyes that perceive beauty, and create more beauty wherever I happen to be. Simply, to do what I can with what I have.

I didn’t read that in a book, a pin, or a post. I learned it from a 90-year old woman picking up garbage in a beanie copter hat. She was truly a woman of perception, maybe even an angel with a sense of style.

Every beauty which is seen here by persons of perception
resembles more than anything else
that celestial source from which we all are come.
Michaelangelo