When it Doesn’t Bloom

I have gone back and forth about whether to choose a word of the year. These days, I don’t want to do things just for the sake of doing them. 

But turns out, I didn’t have to pick a word. As it often happens, the word chose me.

I had bought an amaryllis early in November and began waiting for it to flower. If slow and steady wins the race, this thing has been a rock star. I, on the other hand, have just been impatient.

Recently I was in a long line at Target and a young boy was complaining to his grandmother about waiting. In a very calm voice she said to the boy, “It is good for people to wait, honey. It teaches patience.”

Ugh. I did not want patience. I wanted to get out of the store. But her calm voice has stayed with me. The other day, I heard her words as I was looking at the bulb. It’s good for you to wait, honey. There’s a lot still going on under the surface. It will bloom, just not according to your timetable.

So because my amaryllis is taking its sweet old time, the word “bloom” is headed into the new year. And it is a perfect word for me.

Blooming isn’t about an instant pop of color. Nor is it really the “bloom where you are planted” old adage. It’s not all about the event; it’s about the process.

This next year, I want to be mindful of the beauty encased in the growth process, however long it all takes. Some blooms are loud and flaunty. Others are small, maybe even hidden. I know that deep inside me, there is growth taking place in kindness, courage, strength, and love. I want to celebrate both the process and the bloom. Big, small, loud, flaunty, hidden. And to always remember that there is so much going on that’s hidden.

My amaryllis isn’t a failure. It doesn’t care about my expectations. What I thought to be a holiday flower is going to bloom when it feels like and will most likely be a little on the loud side when it does.

Maybe there’s a little amaryllis left in me as I flip the calendar over to the new year. There’s a lot taking place under the surface that I was hoping popped a little sooner. This just might be the year to trust that blooms will pop when they are ready. And because it’s not generally my style, maybe I’ll celebrate the flaunty ones a little more loudly.