It’s a miracle really. Staying married. Two people come together at one point in time, each who they are at that moment. Times change and people follow suit.
There is no magic lens to see what we will both be like in 5 years, 10, or 50. Nope, we have the present day love and the desire to unite that love through marriage.
We gladly say richer or poorer, better or worse, sickness or health with no idea how that will play out. It doesn’t take long to settle into everyday life, however. Kids are born, roles morph, careers take sharp turns. In the midst of it all, we are slowly changing. We probably no longer love all the items that were on our registries.
The life we experience comes at us from all directions, and the relationship that once took front and center slowly ambles to the edges. There is little time to process all that life together. Sometimes it can leave us feeling lonely, mad, sad, even hopeless. But there are also times we experience great joy, peace, unity, and hope.
At the end of the day, marriage is a decision to stay. I recognize that there are times where that’s not the outcome. And for everyone who has gone through that or is in the process of ending a marriage, my heart can only imagine the pain associated with it all.
But today, a day which marks 35 years, I am celebrating the miracle of staying together. It has been filled with every emotion known to man. From “I wouldn’t change a thing” to “Everything’s a disaster.” From sheer happiness to unrelenting tears. From richer and poorer, better and worse, health and sickness. I have a good idea how that plays out now. It looked better 35 years ago, as a figment of my imagination.
This much I know: Marriage is hard, like the hardest thing ever. A lot of days it wasn’t fun, not all laughs and giggles. Heck, some days there wasn’t even talking. But somehow we chose to stay. We chose to believe that it was better together.
Anniversaries are celebrations of the love that’s still in there, however deep it may get buried over time. There’s a much better understanding of what love means. Because at the end of the day, marriage is the result of commitment, hard work, a ton of amazing grace.
And a little bit miracle.