I used to observe that when older people got together, it seemed all they talked about were health problems. I remember thinking how sad that was. Can’t they talk about something else, I thought. Change the subject.
But what I didn’t understand then was that all groups of friends talk abut what they are going through at that moment. There’s dating, career challenges, finances. Pregnancy, morning sickness, doctor appointments. Parenting, relational issues, toddlers. It happens in every age group.
Younger people may be uncomfortable listening to older adults talk about health issues. It can feel depressing. But when older people get together, it really helps to talk about all the things. The challenges of getting older are many. And we can’t really understand something until we walk through it.
Our new “normals” have changed a lot. I am no longer working, my husband is about to retire, I have five doctor appointments this month. Yes five. I feel like my father.
But what makes it all seem more “normal” is that my friends are going through similar things. We share thoughts on what we do all day, how to find purpose in these years, the health challenges we face, things our older kids are going through, where we should go for coffee. And happy hour. You know, all the things.
No one need worry about us having these discussions. Most often, once we’re done being with our likeminded friends, we shift our focus to what others are going through. We probably have a little understanding of what they’re going through because at this age we likely have been there too.
So when we overhear a group of likeminded friends discussing things we find uncomfortable or obsessive, let’s remember that they are processing a stage of life that they’re trying to understand.
The subject doesn’t need to change. A good discussion with friends that understand is better than therapy. Well, actually, it IS therapy.
Wide Angle Lens 