Tag: getting older

It Came to Pass

If we could peek behind the air we breathe, we could see a kind of trickery taking place. It is luring us into believing that life will always be just as it is today.

We often see the daily routineness of our day as “it came to stay.” When we’re parenting young children, when we’re in school, when we’re in a challenging season, even when all is well, we think we’ll always be doing the things we’re doing today.

But as we get older, we look back on those times and know that, truly, they never meant to stay. When did they grow up, where did all those classes go, how did I reach retirement age?

It doesn’t change simply because we get older. Even though we know better, we can still see our routines as something that will always be. We still need to be reminded to look behind the scene and spot the deception.

This past weekend was challenging in a very common way. It was cold, windy, and rainy. The forecast was more of the same for the next 10 days. I was struggling. Then I thought, 10 years from now, I would probably give anything to live this cold rainy day again at the age I am today. So I remind myself to enjoy this present life, the common everyday rainy life I have today.

May we remember that this day—with all the routine and challenge it may hold—comes to pass us by. I want to breathe it in, consume all the air my lungs can hold, and live everything in front of me. Ten years is a blip.

The screenshot of today’s speeding-past-us image may be a little blurry, but let’s get a glimpse of the beauty it holds. Even if we have to squint to see it. As Seals and Croft reminded us in the 70s, “We will never pass this way again.”

Despite all that may be going on, there is something we can appreciate. Even if it’s just with one small smile.

On Vulnerability

On the surface, vulnerability seems paradoxical. As we get brave enough to share our innermost thoughts and emotions, we often expose the weakness we have tried to hide.  

When we’re younger, we usually protect ourselves with some kind of “armor.” As we’re building relationships, careers, and personalities, we are careful about what we allow others to see. We’re building our lives and protecting our foundations.

But as we get older, we find armor gets heavy. So we begin leaning into vulnerability, which exposes those parts of ourselves that we have protected. Vulnerability takes our weakness, infuses it with courage, and ultimately reveals strength. It’s not always easy to do.

Whether it’s in conversation or on social media, sometimes our picture needs to show the rain, not just the rainbow. No one wants to see the rain day after day, but only showing rainbows is pretentious. The fullness of beauty is about the many facets of life bumping up against each other continually. The good, the bad, and the ugly all at the same time. 

Vulnerability lets people know they are not alone, particularly in their bad and ugly. We can all fall victim to comparison, and when others are continually showing the good, we often fall short. We know our lives contain so much more. And by more, we generally mean less. Less rainbow, less sunshine, less charm. What is wrong with my life?

But when someone offers a glimpse into their struggle, we find a sigh. I am not alone. I’m not the only one with a bit of a mess in a world filled with perfect images. I think we’ve all experienced times when we learned we were not the only ones experiencing a particular situation or fear or sadness. And how we came away just little lighter.

The rain and the rainbow both exist in our lives. Wisdom dictates which one gets highlighted at a particular time. Only as we’re sensitive to the needs of others can we make that call. We are most alive when we take this simple act of vulnerability, wrapped in an unseen layer of courage and strength, and help others feel seen and not alone.

Maybe vulnerability is another word for love.

Batting 1000

I went to a Mariners game this weekend and saw that none of the players’ batting averages were over 300. It’s tough to get much over that in the world of baseball. One successful “at bat” out of three is a pretty darn good average.

Here’s the good news for those of us breathing today. We are all batting 1000. We have made it through every single “at bat” we have ever had. Every single day, even the hard ones.

And the older we are, the more hard ones we have likely had. We have lost people we have loved, opportunities we have hoped for, things we have valued. We’ve had hard days because of failures, rejections, betrayals, abuse, and health. We’ve also had days that just felt overwhelmingly difficult, for a whole bunch of reasons.

Looking back, there were days I wasn’t sure I would get through. When loved ones died, it felt impossible to keep breathing. When betrayal hit, it felt like loneliness would win the day. When spiritual abuse occurred, it felt like shattered faith could never be whole again. When rheumatoid arthritis attacked, pain and depression were the only signs on the road. I wasn’t sure about facing the days ahead.

But like all other breathing souls, I got through them. I kept facing forward, looking for some light. Maybe not actively in the moment, but deep inside I knew the light would win. It always comes to tell our darkness it can’t have the final say.

If today is a hard day, let’s remember that we have faced other hard days as well. And so far, we are batting 1000. Not a bad average for all the “at bats” we’ve had in this crazy game called life.