Tag: positive thinking

The Final Bloom: Or Is It?

So I bought my Christmas amaryllis early November. You heard the story. It didn’t bloom by that holiday, but it had a message for me. Bloom whenever the hell you want. No timetables, baby.

I had written that there is usually activity beneath the surface, but the eye just isn’t picking up on it. Suddenly the thing blooms and we are taken by surprise. It eventually dies back and we are grateful for the beautiful flower it brought forth.

But then, when we expect nothing at all, it blooms again. Well, I didn’t think you had another bloom in you, little guy. And there you go, showing us all that blooms happen even when we think there’s nothing left. This is the third time I’ve been surprised by him.

How many life lessons did that little bulb teach me? 

  1. We need to be patient and trust the process. Time is not our enemy.
  2. Just because the eye doesn’t pick up on activity doesn’t mean that none is taking place.
  3. There is a time for every purpose under heavens but usually we don’t get to choose that time;  that time chooses us.
  4. Maybe the one bloom isn’t the end of the story. Maybe it’s a series of blooms that pop over time when they’re ready. Just because we bloomed once doesn’t mean we’re done.

What we need is the hope that everything resting inside of us will pop when the time is right. We were designed in love to hold so much beauty deep within. I thought that little flower was done, but then I noticed  a little green sprout at the base. I kept it in the light to see if it had anything left. Once again, the amaryllis bloomed.  

I feel a connection with this little flower. We talk and laugh and tell each other we are awesome. I got a lot of bloom left in me. Maybe we’ll both be a little beautiful, loud, and out of place. A perfect, if not at all predictable, time for every purpose under heaven.

Passion: Dream It or Live It

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“Do what you love and you won’t work a day in your life.”

This quote gets thrown around like a guiding principle for life. Find your passion. Do what you love. Don’t settle. Don’t work.

For many, passion has become the number one deciding factor in pursuing careers. And it can be confusing, misleading, and wrong for so many people.

During times of career challenges, I have listened to people ask my husband: What are you passionate about? He couldn’t think of one thing, at least relative to work. He had been in sales and, as anyone who knew my husband could attest, sales was definitely not his passion. But he couldn’t think of a passion which would lead him to a new job. That question often led to discouragement.

I think a better principle might be: “Be passionate about your life and you will find a million ways to be passionate about your job.” Then, even though you may have a job that isn’t your passion, you see a bigger picture. Maybe seemingly “lesser values” need to come forward again. Maybe values like respect, faithfulness, excellence, and kindness are not fully developed and need to come forth.

Being passionate about life can influence so many others. It is how we think about our everyday, ordinary lives. No matter what our circumstances—which, by the way, are always in flux.

Knowing our value apart from what we do is paramount. If we wait to find our passion or decide that life only counts when we are living our dream, we miss a lot of life. It’s not about resigning to life as it is, but rather having a confidence that I am where I am for a reason. It isn’t a lazy “settling,” but a purposeful trusting. We need to recognize that the everyday things of today are training us for tomorrow. Which may or may not translate to “having the job we love.”

My husband eventually got another sales job. It was not his “dream job,” but he has given it everything he has, has treated people with respect, and has valued his customers with the highest level of customer service. The man without a passion for sales just got named one of the top sales reps in the country. And rewarded with an amazing trip to sunny tropical places!

Follow dreams, passions, and adventure whenever that is the right course. But always remember that our lives are intrinsically valuable apart from what we do. If we are passionate about our lives, every day affords the opportunity to practice excellence, respect, and kindness. We can make our everyday ordinary lives look like they matter a whole lot. Because really, they do.

“How we do anything is how we do everything.”

The Question We Have to Ask

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All of us on Facebook see that question multiple times a day. We pay little attention to what it’s really asking us. Because the answer to that question isn’t as simple as it might seem. The Laboratory of Neuro Imaging estimates we think about 70,000 thoughts a day.  “What’s on my mind?” Apparently so many things!

We live in an age where most of our stress comes from our thoughts, and chronic stress wreaks havoc on our cellular well-being. I have found this out the hard way! The bottom line is that our thoughts matter.

We have all had days where our thoughts have been off. Like, “killing-me-softly-John Wayne-slow death” off. One thought leads to another and we find ourselves in a place we don’t even recognize. “How was your day, babe?” Oh dear.

Most of us get tripped up when we are unaware what we are thinking and how we have been influenced. I was recently talking with friends about how social media affects our thinking. One admitted she complained to her husband that they were the only family she knew that had never gone hiking.  “You’ve been on Facebook, haven’t you?” he asked. Others joined in with similar stories. All of us can fall prey to comparison, from content to dissatisfied in a heartbeat. And we often don’t even recognize what happened.

But aren’t we smarter than making conclusions based on status updates and one-off pictures? Research suggests that we are born with a desire to evaluate ourselves, and we don’t get test grades on how we are doing with relationships, work, parenting, and other responsibilities. So we find other ways.

In You are the Placebo, author Joe Dispenza argues that competition is among our basic survival emotions. Survival emotions are selfish; their primary concern is safety. As we scroll the highlight reel of Facebook, they let us know where we may not be “winning.” Haven’t we all experienced a time where we were left with a sense of not measuring up after being on social media? It’s just our internal grading system wanting us to know that the competition may be out in front.

A couple practices can help us through the potential minefield of negative and comparative thoughts that become part of the 70,000 that flood us on a daily basis–thoughts that contribute to stress and, ultimately, lack of wholeness and well-being.

  1. We can recognize that our ego is always protecting us. As those who want to champion, support, and encourage others, we need to periodically check for thoughts that can make us competitive. Our ego isn’t concerned about logic; it’s concerned about survival.
  1. We can spend time each morning meditating on ideas that cause us to think positively. New brain cells are generated while we sleep. They don’t need yesterday’s thoughts giving them wings. Being aware of thoughts first thing gives us a better chance of thinking about things that are inspiring, positive, and beautiful.
  1. We can create habits that help us think differently. If something has been occupying all our attention, maybe a wide-angle perspective would be helpful. There is always way more happening around us than what we see in that one frame. We might just need to take 10 minutes and switch out our lens.
  1. We can breathe fresh thoughts into our being. When my thoughts become negative or overwhelming, I am learning to stop and breathe thoughts that help me shift. “I have more than enough for this moment.” “There is beauty all around me.” As I breathe in, I allow the positive thoughts to displace the others. I exhale all that is not helpful, trusting that those thoughts are physically leaving my body.

I have to set my mind on the good, the beautiful, the positive–even before I get out of bed. That gives opportunity for thoughts that include gratitude, kindness, compassion, and patience. They are always a good idea. Positive thoughts not only influence our well-being, they influence the well-being of those we touch. Every single day.

“What’s on your mind?” A question we need to ask all day long.