Tag: strength

My Journey from Treadmills to Dumbbells

A number of years ago, I was diagnosed with osteoporosis. I knew very little about bone density at that time. But I was approaching 70 and knew I needed to take it seriously.

Women lose significant bone mineral density with hormonal shifts during menopause years. Fractures are a major cause of morbidity in postmenopausal women, and bone density is the big factor here.

When I got my diagnosis, I was handed the typical prescription. Doctors provide invaluable service to us, but I also think they can be shortsighted when it comes to solutions outside of pharmacologica. I began by following the protocol, but also started researching alternative pathways so I could get off it.

I learned that muscle mass is directly tied to bone strength, and muscle mass decreases as we age. For many years I had been aerobically active but not necessarily strong. I had run a marathon and taught aerobic classes for years. It was a formula for disaster as I was getting older. 

The weight section of the gym always intimidated me. But this past January, I was in Palm Springs with my daughter. She wanted to find a gym so I went with her.  As I stared blankly at all the weights and machines, she stepped in and began helping me. 

After that, I had the courage to continue the journey on my own. As I gradually increased the weight, I began to see small changes in muscle. The picture above is not going to win any awards for muscle but, compared to where I was, I am happy about it. Motivation comes as we see the effects of our hard work.

So “lift heavy things” became a mantra for me. Below are some recommendations I implemented to address bone density. It is never too late!

Start small

  1. I bought a 10-pound weighted vest and began wearing it for short intervals around the house. Then I took it for a walk. I was amazed how heavy an extra 10 pounds felt. Some people have found change by doing nothing other than that.
  1. I purchased some light dumbbells, (3, 5 and 8 lb weights to start) and began with some basic exercises. Tricep extensions, bicep curls, and shoulder presses were where I started for upper body. I also did body weight squats and lunges for lower body. I have since added much heavier weights (I’ve added 10, 15 and 25 lb weights) and purchased a barbell, but it has taken time to get there.
  1. Whenever I wasn’t sure, I would google “how to do a proper” whatever. I discovered many free YouTube programs, and after getting familiar with the exercises, landed on Caroline Girvan’s Iron Program. It is definitely challenging but very adaptable to beginning levels.

Supplement

  1. I started regularly taking Vitamin D3K2 as it is essential for bone density. It helps the body absorb calcium, which is crucial for maintaining strong bones.

  2. Creatine helps build bone density and muscle mass, especially when combined with resistance training, so I added that to my daily supplement routine.

Eat for strength

Protein needs go up as we age because muscle mass is declining. I aim for 1 gram of protein for every pound of ideal body weight. Because that is a high number, I have to be intentional about it. It’s not a number I always hit, but if I aim for that, my numbers are higher than if I was just hoping for the best.

Just move

The whole “motion is lotion” is true. We do not stop moving because we get weaker, we get weaker because we stop moving. Aim for whatever is possible and go on from there. When I was at my worst with Rheumatoid Arthritis, I could only walk to the mailbox. So I did that. 

Let’s not just hope for the best and wait to see what happens. I have another dexa scan next month and am hoping I see improvement. But either way, I am getting stronger.

We are not only getting older, we are hopefully also getting wiser. That’s our portion. Let’s lean into it.

Let’s Lift

As we grow older, we are hopefully becoming stronger— physically, emotionally, and mentally. While we likely have glitches in all three, it’s possible to become stronger in big and small ways.

On I can hear everyone arguing about the aches in joints, the constant trying to remember where we put our phones, the fatigue brought on by loss and pain. 

I have the same arguments. But I’m challenging the notion that it all points to getting weaker. I think most of us would acknowledge we have made much progress in our thinking. Maybe we have set boundaries where there used to be none. Perhaps we refuse to beg for acceptance when we feel unwanted. We have learned when to say yes. And no.

Our thoughts about growing older matter and sometimes we have to push past someone else’s ideas. When I was diagnosed with osteoporosis, I was immediately prescribed medication. “You’re a female with a smaller frame. It’s inevitable.” Just the medical community’s long arm reaching for prescription drugs. Is that really the only answer?

So I did some research on how to build stronger bones. “Lift heavy things” was the biggest takeaway. So I bought a couple sets of dumbbells and started lifting. While I had to start at relatively light weight, I’ve gradually been able to lift heavier. I still haven’t had another dexa scan, which I believe will show change, but even if it doesn’t and I wind up needing to consider medication, I’m not going down without a fight. I’m getting stronger in the process.

All our collective experience, especially the hard things, has brought us wisdom so we can confront challenges differently. I had previously allowed someone to treat me poorly because of their need for power. Nope. Wisdom says never again.

And there’s so many ways to learn and grow. I love finding books that challenge my thinking. Not just clicking and scrolling my way to discouragement and even despair. But intentionally choosing what crosses my eyes.

It takes little strength to lift people along the way. Just a decision to be the reason someone feels seen. It can be a smile or a kind word to someone we encounter in our day. Or reaching out to someone we know is going through a challenge. It’s asking the question: How can I get out of my own small world?

I’m older than I’ve ever been. And I’m also stronger. I made a decision to lift: lift weights, lift thoughts, lift people along the way. One tiny degree more than yesterday. Older and wiser. Older and more emotionally stable. Older and stronger.

Let’s not allow others to define our season. What we think about our aging process matters.

On Friendship

Being a good friend is about reassurance; it’s about letting our friends know that we believe in them, we trust them, we like them.

An important part of friendship is listening, but here’s the key: To truly listen, we must learn not to compete with their narrative.

When someone shares a challenge, or sadness, or loss with us, they are opening a window into their soul, at that moment. Part of our growth as a good friend is allowing others to take all the air. It’s not always a ping pong match, volleying stories over the net. When someone is sharing something hard with us, we need to resist the temptation to pop the ball back over.

If we hear it like they need us to fix them, we undervalue their strength. It is a slice of their heart, not the entirety. If they don’t ask us to help, we should not offer words. In offering our ears, we endorse their strength.

As we get older, we’re likely to have had an experience that is similar to what they are describing. We can be tempted to jump in and share, giving them the advice or adage that helps them feel better. We all do that from time to time.

But real listening quietly communicates that we believe in them. They are stronger than they know. As our shoulder presses up against their shoulder, our bond with them strengthens. I so value my friends who know when I am going through something and ask, How are you, really? It’s a question we can all learn to sincerely ask.

By resisting the urge to fix our friends, turning their vulnerability into a counseling session, we endorse their strength. After they have a chance to share all that’s in their heart, we have a chance to let them know they are both heard and seen. And that we believe in them.

And isn’t that what we all want? To be seen, to believe we are strong, and to know we are not alone.

Narrative of Strength

Yesterday, I was out walking, struggling with so many things. Why is it that when we struggle, we often rehearse our weaknesses?

A small voice inside whispered: Instead of another narrative of weakness, can we craft one of strength? Ha. I feel nothing like that right now. “Rehearse the strength you’ve seen in your life,” it whispered.

***It can take a minute to shift a story. ***

I remembered back to when I moved here. Just me and my Pontiac Sunbird with everything I owned. I had gotten accepted into the doctoral program at the University of Washington as a Graduate Teaching Assistant. So off I went.

I knew no one and nothing about this city that my mom claimed was the farthest point I could possibly go excepting Alaska and Hawaii. I moved into an apartment that I later learned was owned by a slumlord. When the people upstairs took a shower, it dripped into my living room. I had bug bites over my entire body. I found someone looking for a roommate and moved out, losing rent and deposit. Not a great start. 

I had this perfect NJ accent, having lived only 20 miles outside New York City my whole life. When I walked into the Public Speaking class that I would be teaching, I was met by half the football team, each one deciding my accent was fair game. I was intimidated. I worked hard to get rid of that accent so I could be taken seriously. Eventually, they had to get up and give speeches, and the power was mine. Never underestimate a 100 pound gal from New Jersey.

I eventually began to feel more at home here. I bought a house, opened a mortgage company and became a real estate agent at a great company in the Greenlake area. 

Always competitive, I ran a 10K with some of my fellow realtors. Who would get the fastest time? Again, never underestimate. I ran that thing in 38 minutes. I registered for a marathon and ran it in 3:38. I wanted to become an aerobics instructor, and I did that too. Classes of up to 60 students, a couple times a day. The guy who hired me became my husband. 

After marriage, I birthed five children and suffered three pretty rough miscarriages. All in eight years. Our second child had special needs, and one very dark night, when he was 6 months old, the doctor told us he would “never be any good.” Exact words. We hunted down anyone who had a more positive perspective, and although there were still some extremely difficult days, he made much progress. He definitely has special needs, but he walks and talks and jokes and brings us much joy. 

Over the next years, I became involved in the school my kids would attend. I taught classes, acted as vice principal, and poured my life into building relationships with fellow teachers and students. Oh, and possibly one of my greatest feats: getting myself and five children out the door by 7:15, ready for the day at school. Lunches (most often) in hand.
 
I am a social introvert, loving people but absolutely needing  time alone. Yeah, that pretty much never happened. Some days, when I got to take a shower, it was hard convincing myself to turn the water off. Just one more hour…

Then there is the repetitiveness that comes with raising children. Answering their why’s, reminding them to brush their teeth, pick up their toys, be nice to their siblings. All while trying to shape them into kind and compassionate humans.

I am still married. Anyone who has been married past the honeymoon knows what a feat that is. Choosing day after day to let love win–a combination of resilience, humor, and commitment that can only come by flexing those muscles one day at a time, over and over again. Some days I was pretty sore.

Ok, those are a couple things I came up with. It’s long, but maybe someone needs to read it. When others share their stories, I can more easily find my own. Many will have narratives showing far greater strength.

It’s obvious by watching the news that there is more than one way to spin a story. We have to take control of the way our story is being told. If we can’t do it on our own, maybe we get together with someone who loves us and knows us well. 

I recently sat with a friend and showed her a tattoo that my daughter had given me. It is a small lightening bolt on my ankle. She commented that it was a reminder that I am a superhero.  Well, that’s not exactly what I thought when I was getting it. But, thank you friend, for seeing something I didn’t. It helps my story.

We’ve lived a lot of days; let’s find the good, the true, and the wonderful parts of them. And since we are the ones telling the story, let’s create a narrative of strength. Let’s write a story where we are a superhero, no matter how many twists and turns that story has to take. 

***Would we want to read a story told any other way?***