Sometimes as we are scrolling mindlessly through Instagram, we can get our minds rocked. Yesterday I saw a post about inner bullying and self-rejection. I consider myself a fairly confident person and I assumed I didn’t deal with this. But then I read one of the questions he posed: “Don’t think the article is good enough? Publish it anyway.”

I am totally not a perfectionist, except for writing. I wrote for a magazine for over five years, and every single article was painstakingly time consuming. I would do a rough draft and a final draft. And then maybe another 10 revisions. Every word needed to be right.

It’s been the same with blogging. This whole “building the blog” thing is challenging. I can work really hard and not see results, and so I decide to stop writing. There…problem solved.

But when I realized this process was self-rejection, I had to stop and sit with it. If I give myself the first vote of rejection, then there can’t be others. He states the obvious result of this thinking: 100% of people that don’t apply for a job, do not get the job. This holds true across the board for every situation.

So today I am going to give myself a vote of confidence. Maybe I’ll “get the job” and maybe I won’t. But there is a 100% chance nothing will happen if I stop writing. Self-confidence isn’t about validation from others. It’s being willing to take a chance on yourself, be proud of yourself, accept yourself whether anyone else does or not.

So as I get back to writing, I’m going to remember why I write. Writing for me is a way of processing life, getting clarity in my thinking, and finding encouragement in whatever I am going through. Of course, I always hope that others can relate and be encouraged as well, but that can’t be my primary motivation. “Do it for yourself” is the advice I would give to anyone in similar situations.

What else might the inner bully be saying and what can we do to silence that noise?

Send the text, write the email, apply for the job, look into school, take the trip, set the boundary, have the hard conversation, end/begin the relationship, write the book, share the story, set up the Instagram account, or the second. We do whatever it is we have been wanting to do and don’t allow the fear of rejection hold us back.

Today, let’s be brave and believe in ourselves. Today, let’s not self-reject.

“A great deal of what we don’t accomplish is because we’ve allowed our inner bullies to convince us that the probability of us achieving some goal is very low.” Stevon Lewis, psychotherapist

4 thoughts on “Self-rejection

  1. This is a beautiful post! You are so right on this- we are sometimes our biggest critics. Similarly to you, writing helps me process life. Sometimes it’s difficult to see results but, in the end, we have to take that leap of faith! Great post- this was so inspiring!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Alessia. I think we’re all so much more alike than we think. I love to hear that writing helps you process life as well. The rest can all just be noise, but it’s nice to get feedback as well. Thank you for that💕

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel like there is a constant battle in our minds. Half of our mind wants to continue, but the other half feels sorry for itself and asks why should we? Nobody is reading, or less people than usual are reading today. oh we might aswell give up.

    Imagine if all of the people in this world who invented everyday things we use think that way? Imagine if Thomas Edison said “I can’t be bothered to keep trying to figure out this light thing. Candles work just fine!” Our world would be alot darker.

    You got this friend. Even if you feel discouraged and down about it. Go back to there reason you clicked onto wordpress and opened an account. Find that fire again 💪🏼

    Olivia |

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Olivia, I love this. And I so appreciate the time you took to write it. I get encouragement from your blog and am grateful for the posts along the way that have kept me going! And I’m taking your advice and finding the fire 🔥 ♥️


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