“Sending memes, links and videos to others isn’t trivial.
It suggests that you’re thinking of them.
It’s known as pebbling, based on penguins
gifting pebbles to potential partners.
Pebbling is an act of care. Every pebble is a bid for connection.”
~Adam Grant
I LOVE this. Connecting with someone sends a message: “You are not alone.”
Talking about his mental health struggles, Michael Phelps said that he and a few friends check in on each other all the time. “I will be going through some kind of spell, spill, spiral — whatever you want to call it — and bing, my phone lights up, a text comes through. I’m able to relax because you don’t feel alone in that moment.”
I love the physical connections with friends. There are friends that I walk with, and while the exercise is great, being with them is the best part. Then there’s the, “Let’s grab coffee,” or “You free for a glass?” Each connection happens on a different level and they are all my favorite.
But sometimes a connection is just the expression of a thought. I read a story about two older women who share a heart emoji when they wake up just to let the other know they’re being thought of. And that they’re each still there!
Every morning I play Wordle and Quortle. A friend does the same and we share our scores with each other. While we cheer each other on for the rare great score, it’s about connection. We check in with each other, and usually can tell when the other might be having a moment.
This morning, after sharing her scores, she texted, “How are you doing? I’m around all day if you want to chat.” I am not alone this morning. Pebbling.
There is a crow that comes to my yard frequently. I make sure our little fountain has clean water. I always acknowledge him and I believe he senses my care for him. We connect and I believe he “pebbles” me too. It’s important to remember that we connect to so much around us, especially when we’re feeling alone.
So let’s not trivialize the small gestures of connection. We never know if someone is going through some kind of “spell, spill or spiral.” If I happen to send a heart emoji, here is everything that little red icon means: “I’m thinking about you. I care about how you’re doing. And I love you. I’m here if you need to chat.”
Maybe they could add a little pebble to the emoji list♥️
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