Category: Inspiration

Stillness

One of the benefits of “second half” living is that we can escape noise more easily. While I don’t like the hour I wake up these days, it gives me plenty of time to sit in the quiet.

Listening to Christmas music the other day, I was struck by the familiar line in It Came Upon a Midnight Clear: “The world in solemn stillness lay, to hear the angels sing.”

“Solemn stillness.” The absence of noise is an external place of quiet. But stillness is an internal place of peace. It is in stillness that we can wrestle the noisy and the negative out of our minds.

There is a Bible verse that says, “Be still and know that I am God.” Be still and know. Deep spiritual knowing requires us to be still.  All major religions believe that stillness and the pursuit of inner peace is the foundation to happiness and meaning.“Be still. Stillness reveals the secrets of eternity.” Lao Tzu

Perhaps we all have this deep need to know that the universe isn’t too big for us, a need to hear a whisper from God, whatever that means for each of us. Because of a painful experience I had with “religion,” I have found it difficult to connect with God in ways I used to. But I have found that God will always find a way to connect with me if I am listening. If I am still.

I believe that God comes through our pain, our sorrow, and our loss to bring us comfort and joy. With all the sadness flowing through our lives, “tidings of comfort and joy” gently usher in the happiness that can sit beside it all.

During this season, may we all find the “solemn stillness” in which we can hear both the angels sing and God whisper. It may look different for each of us, but  after all we’ve been through this year, perhaps we would all benefit if “the world in solemn stillness lay to hear the angels sing.” 

May we all be happy. May we all be still. May we all be at peace.

It’s All New

Back in the day, when a new month began, we flipped the calendar page. A new picture, new white boxes, new opportunities. Just hours have passed since the old month faded away, but it feels way longer.

The digital age doesn’t give us the same dramatic image, but it’s the same thing. When the first of the month appears, we begin anew. We drag out our tired expectations and breathe life into them. 

This year, it seems everything has been a blur. I recently commented to my brother that the uniforms are always more colorful on Thursday Nite football. Except, he said, it’s Monday.  I generally have no idea where we are on the timeline.

But today I’m grounding myself in awareness. It is the first day of December, the last month of 2020. And although Im tired of hoping everything will be different this year, I’m choosing hope anyway. 

Let’s cheers in this new month. Let’s believe that even if our circumstances can’t be all that different, WE can be different. We can drag out our tired hope off the shelf and believe it is now well rested. Despite what the news tells us or what the governors tell us, we can be socially connected one another. We can give what we have to others.

I’m taking a moment to mentally flip the calendar page, making sure hope comes along. Maybe it was tired at the end of November, but with all the time that’s passed since that month, it is well rested and ready to go.

Play the songs, wrap the gifts, sip the cheer. It’s a new month and hope has awakened to the sound of it all. Let’s be contagious and give it to everyone we touch.

Happy December, Happy Holidays!

Thankful Still

Thanksgiving is a radically defiant day. In the middle of a season defined by short days and long nights, we set aside a day to give thanks—for what we have and who we have.

This year, thankfulness might have to be more grounded in intention. In recent years the challenge was whether or not we would leave our seated positions on Thursday to shop for Black Friday. Who knew that one year, those seated positions might not even be possible.

All of us have likely seen pain, loss, and disappointment over these past months. But Thanksgiving is a symbolic day of declaration: grateful regardless of circumstances.

Whether we are locked down, locked in, or locked out, our hearts are never bound by the same rules. Regardless of any laws being imposed from the outside, our hearts are still free.

*We can sit still and breathe in the abundance of life around us. 
*We can affirm that no matter what we see, beauty is also in our midst.
*We can listen to our beating hearts and remember that love keeps them beating. 
*We can remind others that they are valuable, whether they are sitting with us or not.
*We can decide we want to do better at living a generous and grateful life.

So let’s be quietly defiant today and cultivate gratitude for the abundant grace and mercy available to us all. What we cultivate in the quiet can then be lived out in the noisy, the messy, and the hard. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t benefit from a little grace and mercy today so let’s be generous in our thanks “giving.”

“Wear gratitude like a cloak, and it will feed every corner of your life.”— Rumi

Beauty in the Broken

“There are days, or nights, or long stretches of weeks or months or even years, when breathing is the only prayer we’ve got.” A Holy Experience

I always knew there were long stretches of days, even weeks that required deep breathing. Only recently have I come to realize that those stretches can become years. And I have decided to be okay with that. Change isn’t going away.

Change is generally not our focus growing up. Even if we encounter something hard, there is so much going on that we move forward and adapt. But as we get older, change messes with us more regularly and we feel the changed spaces more intensely.

Before there were vulnerable conversations about well being, I used to feel guilty that I was in the midst of a breathing season maybe too long. Moving through a challenging season, I usually wanted to simply move on and get over it. And we have to do both to move forward. But that’s not the whole point.

Sometimes our very DNA is being changed and it takes time and trust for that to happen. All we can do is surrender and breathe our way through the transition. However long that takes. Whether we see it or not, we are being led to light.

First and foremost, we are spiritual beings. God—or whatever term best describes how we each see the force at work within and without—works in our darkness and silence to bring light and peace.

It helps to remember that love, resurrection, and transformation are at the core of most major religions, spiritual teachings, and the world around us. Every day we watch the steadfastness of the sun rising, the transformative power of rebirth in the seasons, and the metamorphosis of living things all around us.

What is broken gets transformed, healed, and made whole. Over and over again. So let’s breathe our way through this current season. Because even if we get to celebrate a victory, there is so much broken and hurting all around us.

So if breath is the only prayer we got, it’s ok. We are being led to mercy and light, where the mundane and the broken can become holy and whole.

Many of us practice expressing gratitude to counter negativity. A great addition would be searching out beauty and making that a daily habit. It’s pretty easy to stare at the ugly and the sad. But always always always there is something beautiful in the same scene.

Maybe we’ll have an opportunity to point someone towards beauty in the midst of their broken. Maybe that’s what angels do as they walk the earth. And perhaps, sometimes, they quietly inspire us to speak on their behalf.

Holding on to Hope

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” ~Desmond Tutu

Trying to make sense out of this season…there is so much swirling around us. It can be hard to wrestle with all the thoughts that fly at us in a day. 

I had been reading a book by Henri Nouwen, spiritual writer and theologian, and I identified one of the swirling thoughts. A friend had asked him if he thought humanity would survive the century. A question certainly relevant today.

“Important for me is not if our civilization will survive or not but if we can continue to live with hope.”

He went on to say that we must always live with hope. And in spite of all the surrounding chaos, we have to avoid the temptation of despair, becoming more aware that God is present. Or a greater Light. Or the compelling force of Love.

And I realized how easily I let go of hope. In spite of all “the surrounding chaos,” all the challenges I face personally, all the things I can’t seem to fix, all the seeming wrong in this nation, all the scandals, lies, vitriol rhetoric, division, hatred, and fear, we must remember a bigger perspective.

Whatever we face personally or as a nation, there is something bigger than us. God is with us. Light and Love guide the universe. Every single day.
May we continue to live in hope. It matters.

Survivors

survivors

Like everyone else, I have been giving a lot of thought to November 9th. Tomorrow. This has been a campaign for the books, with new levels of hated, fear, and distrust everywhere we turn. Even those who are on the “winning side” won’t all be cheering this day. Many are voting for the lesser of two evils.

Wouldn’t it be nice if, tonight, everyone pulls up signs, rips off bumper stickers, takes off the partisan buttons. And we all display a new one with the same message: “We survived the election of 2016,” the craziest season ever.

Survivors are strong. Like women who have battled breast cancer. They fought a battle they didn’t ask for and had their lives completely disrupted. Some days, maybe they didn’t even think they would make it. But with news of remission, they moved past all that. And they came together with other survivors. All kinds of differences mark them. But something bigger has united them. They are survivors.

We have been in a raging battle this past season. Tomorrow, it will be time to think about what unites us. Maybe a new bumper sticker would help us smile and nod when driving past a battle weary neighbor. Maybe the buttons would remind us to high five someone at the grocery store just for getting through. Maybe we’d buy someone a cup of coffee because, well, it’s been a rough season. More smiles. More kindness. More compassion. Because we have all been through it, one painstaking day at a time.

Tomorrow, let’s temporarily forget about winners and losers. Let’s resist flaunting, taunting, and fear mongering on social media. Let’s focus on being kinder, more compassionate, and more concerned for others than we’ve ever been. It just might help dissipate fear, anger, and perhaps violence in the aftermath. Let’s recognize that, really, we all just survived something we don’t ever want to go through again.

Probably a little late to get all those signs made. But we can all think about something bigger than the bloodbath that just took place. Surviving something this crazy just could be the thing that unites us all. And a little unity could make a big difference right now.

Savoring the Long, Hard, and Crazy Fast

Gilbert kids 2

“It all goes by so quickly. Enjoy them while they’re young.” Having my fifth and last child recently leave the teenage years behind, I know this is all too true. They enter the teenage years slowly and exit them at the speed of sound. But, honestly, if one more person had told me that when the kids were younger, I just may have said bad things. It took everything in me just to feign a smile to the one offering kind advice.

I knew it went fast. But with five children, sometimes those days were hard. Excruciatingly hard. And some days I didn’t care if it went fast. Actually, I had hoped it would go fast some of the time. I went in and out of savoring the moments and thinking they were the longest days ever.

Now that I’m at this end of it all, I want to go back and savor a little more. In retrospect, the challenge came from so many directions. It wasn’t just parenting. It was the responsibilities that came from working, and trying to keep the house looking good for all the people we had over, and rushing to too many meetings, and keeping relationships strong, and trying so hard to do it all well.How do we find the balance in the middle of those days? We continually check our “moments.” We analyze the cost of those moments. We prioritize and try to make the best decisions we can for our family. We recognize that hard days are normal days. And they go by just as fast at the easier days. We are the only ones who can decide what is best for our families, and decisions must be made in light of the moments we are in. Because we can’t decide backwards.

Enjoy it all on the good days, and on the hard days, remember that every day includes sleep. When their busy and noisy lives have settled into slumber, seeing their sweet sleeping faces remind us again that it is all worth it.  Built into every day are sacred spaces where we can slow down and savor moments.

Saying “yes” to parenting them well is worth every “no” we may have to say in the process.  There are a lot of years to say “yes” when they are grown. And they will grow up more quickly than we can imagine. Savor the sacred, sweet space of parenting. The long and the hard go by quickly too.

Chase the Joy

Graduatiton

Sunday we had the privilege of watching our son Evan graduate from the University of Washington. We were there mostly for those five seconds his name would be called and he would walk across the stage. For the other 3+ hours, we hoped for something that would make it a little easier to sit there.

We got it in the form of a commencement address by noted author, poet, and screenwriter Sherman Alexie, a Spokane/Coeur d’Alene Indian. Someone should add comedian to that triad of adjectives. He brought a perfect mix of serious and funny to that hot crowded gym.

He began by noting the paradox of celebrating and being joyful in light of the mass murder of 49 young men in Orlando the day before. It really is the great paradox of life. Tragedy and joy occur simultaneously, parallel to each other in our world. Do we focus on grief or focus on joy? Many us feel like we are betraying one when choosing the other. He said it felt wrong to choose joy in the face of such tragedy.

The answer to the dilemma came from his 14-year old son. “Isn’t this a college graduation?” he asked. “Then you must choose joy, Dad. You must choose joy today.” There truly is a time for every purpose under heaven.

The lens we look through must be big enough to include both. We have to be able to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice. Our time spent in grief must, at some point, match our time spent in joy or we get unbalanced. Lack of balance throws us off and makes us walk with a limp.

Sherman told a story of needing to go through brain surgery to remove a benign tumor. When he finally woke up after surgery, he saw everyone standing around him, including the head of surgery, an eastern Indian doctor. His first thought was to tell his doctor an “inappropriate joke.”

“I bet it’s the first time an Indian ever scalped an Indian.” No one even cracked a smile. He thought maybe something was seriously wrong with him. His wife came over to him and gently leaned down. He panicked over what she was going to tell him. “Sherman, you’ve told that joke 11 times,” she said. Ah, he thought, the power of a good anesthetic drug!

He said the point is that everyone needs a good editor. Go ahead and tell an inappropriate joke if that keeps your sense of humor alive. But only tell it once. Keep someone in your corner who will edit you if need be. Make sure your sense of humor equals your sense of grief. Grieve when you must, but chase the joy that’s all around you the other times. Chase the joy. Whenever possible, chase the joy.

I got some valuable instruction at a college graduation yesterday. And some much needed laughter for my saddened soul.